“Thank you.”

                  “For what?”

                  “For caring about me.”

                  I’m at a friend’s birthday bonfire at Dockweiler Beach well past its closing time. I have a Dr. Pepper in one hand, a skewer boasting a charred marshmallow in the other. (We don’t have proper marshmallow-roasting equipment; the skewers are wooden, meant for kebabs.) There are spots in my eyes from staring at the fire for too long. There is school the next day, but I don’t care much. It’s nearing the end of my senior year, early June, and I’m learning more from this conversation than I would’ve from showing up to school well-rested, anyway. I ask an old friend how he’s doing, and he tells me he is struggling. He says the word like it surprises him, like it feels foreign in his mouth. In it, in the way his voice catches on the edge of the word, I see him, myself, and everything in between.

                  Constant systemic denial of my neurological condition from an education system rooted in individualistic ideals led to a cycle of shame, but through challenging harmful societal narratives about success and failure, I gained the insight and experience to help others feel seen in the way I never was. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, is a neurological condition that affects cognitive function. People with ADHD often struggle with things such as emotional regulation, sustained attention, time management, organization, impulsivity, and an increased risk for other mental health conditions. Because of this, school is generally not a friend to people with this disorder. I don’t know if the amount of ADHD in a person can be quantified, but if it can, then there’s a lot of it in me. My personal experience with the American public school system is defined by the way that it puts the pressure of success, and the weight of failure, directly on the individual. It’s built for neurotypical minds and pathologizes differences while simultaneously pretending they don’t exist, teaching a “growth mindset” and stressing perseverance while assuming failure comes from a lack of effort. American ideals of individualism promote independence and self-reliance in academic settings; the discouragement of any sort of struggle makes the word “school” feel synonymous with “in the wrong place” to me.